After my divorce I started to analyze the long relationship I had with my ex-husband, and asked myself what was it about him that made me feel that he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with? After giving it some thought I came to the conclusion that it was security that made me feel comfortable with our relationship. I was only 15 when we met, and we had spent 4 years dating prior to us marrying. I think I confused that feeling of security with being in love. He was smart and very successful in his career at a young age, much more so than any other guy I met at that time. I think I just chose to love him instead of exploring other options I may have had. One of them being focusing on myself , my goals, and who I was as a person so I could choose the right person for me. If I never experienced being alone to figure out who I am how could I ever make the right choice? Would I ever really experience what true love is?
I think a lot of people make this mistake, they are so desperate to be in a relationship they don't take the time to learn how to be alone so they end up settling for the first person that comes a long because they confuse that feeling of security with being in love. I'm in no way a relationship expert, but I have spent the past 2 years being alone and I can honestly say the first year was the hardest, but it taught me a lot about myself and what I truly was looking for in a partner. I also know what it is I can offer to someone without misleading them into thinking I am someone I am not. I definitely would like to marry again someday, but I want it to be with someone who is comfortable with being alone, and wants to take his time to find the right person. I want him to take the time getting to know himself, so he can truly decide that I'm the woman he love's, and wants to spend his life with, and not just because he's lonely.
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