You finally meet that special someone. You hit it off right away. They are attractive, they are smart, they are a really good person. After you start dating for awhile you start to notice small differences, which you feel you could accept because you really like them, and that's what love is, right, accepting the other person for who they are? What about if this person says they wouldn't approve of certain things that you may have done in the past, or present that they don't know about? Maybe it goes against a religious belief that they feel strongly about. Do you tell them so you are being true to yourself and them? Do you let them decide whether or not they can accept you and your differences, or do you keep it to yourself because you're afraid they may not feel the same way about you?
I see this happen all the time. People suppressing their beliefs, or changing themselves so that special someone likes them. They keep certain things about their life a secret, or they feel what they don't know won't hurt them. This really bothers me. Do they not see the problems this could cause in the future once the truth comes out? Are we so desperate to be with someone we are willing to lose who we are? Yes, I too have been guilty of this.When I was married whatever my spouse didn't like about me, I changed. I
changed myself so much to suit him at the end of our 24 year marriage I
had no clue who I was. Figuring out who I am wasn't an easy process
after that, but I won't lie, or change who I am for anyone ever again.
Someone once told me that most men want to be with a woman that at least believes in God. They told me this because I'm Agnostic/Atheist. Well, I feel just as strongly about not believing in a God as someone who believes in a God. That's not something I can change. I don't have a problem dating, or even being in a relationship with someone who does believe in God. There are good and bad people no matter what your faith is. I wouldn't want anyone to change what made me fall in love with them in the first place. If I can't win someones heart for being me, then I guess it's not love in the first place.
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Not saying that you should change but being a strong agnostic in my mind is equally as troublesome as being a devoutly religious person. Most people are somewhere in the middle on nearly every trait. If you are strong one way or another it’s difficult to compromise because it’s a stretch further with your ideology. Either you have to find like minded people or find a centrist who is ambivalent.
ReplyDeleteI agree, but that being said, that could be with anything. If someone makes something their whole life it will always be an issue. My ex-husband was a workaholic. Work came before anything or anyone. Me myself was a christian at one point in my life, so it's not that I don't understand it. Atheism isn't my whole life. It doesn't define me as a person, but like you said I could never be in a relationship with someone who defined themselves as only being a Christian. Most people I know don't.
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