Knowing When To Call It Quits

I once knew a couple who always fought in public. I could never understand why most of these disagreements couldn't wait until they were at home, or why they even felt the need to have them in public. Everyone feels uncomfortable being around such couples, and their time out together couldn't have been much fun for them either. I'm thinking maybe they want other peoples opinions on whatever it is they were disagreeing about, but most of the disagreements were just putting each other down, which I will not take part in.

Why do some couples stay together if they can't come to a mutual agreement on things, or at least agree to disagree. Do they like having such drama in their lives, or are they just too afraid to face the fact that they are all wrong for each other? I am no stranger to this behavior. This is what finally ended my relationship with my ex-husband. We didn't fight in public, but in the end we disagreed on everything we once agreed on, or at least compromised on in the past. Calling it quits is hard for some couples, and we were definitely one of them.

If you are married you do everything possible to make it work, but if you have children, and you fight constantly, it is not a good way to show them how relationships work. I often wonder if there is anything these couples can do to make it work when one is not willing to be wrong once in awhile. Relationships can get old and repetitious. You can grow apart, and in some cases you subconsciously don't want them to work so you sabotage them by picking fights because you don't want to be the one to end them. I say if you are unhappy in your relationship it's time to call it quits. Hopefully it's something you both can agree on.

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Losing Yourself

You finally meet that special someone. You hit it off right away. They are attractive, they are smart, they are a really good person. After you start dating for awhile you start to notice small differences, which you feel you could accept because you really like them, and that's what love is, right, accepting the other person for who they are? What about if this person says they wouldn't approve of certain things that you may have done in the past, or present that they don't know about? Maybe it goes against a religious belief that they feel strongly about. Do you tell them so you are being true to yourself and them? Do you let them decide whether or not they can accept you and your differences, or do you keep it to yourself because you're afraid they may not feel the same way about you?

I see this happen all the time. People suppressing their beliefs, or changing themselves so that special someone likes them. They keep certain things about their life a secret, or they feel what they don't know won't hurt them. This really bothers me. Do they not see the problems this could cause in the future once the truth comes out? Are we so desperate to be with someone we are willing to lose who we are? Yes, I too have been guilty of this.When I was married whatever my spouse didn't like about me, I changed. I changed myself so much to suit him at the end of our 24 year marriage I had no clue who I was. Figuring out who I am wasn't an easy process after that, but I won't lie, or change who I am for anyone ever again.

 Someone once told me that most men want to be with a woman that at least believes in God. They told me this because I'm Agnostic/Atheist. Well, I feel just as strongly about not believing in a God as someone who believes in a God. That's not something I can change. I don't have a problem dating, or even being in a relationship with someone who does believe in God. There are good and bad people no matter what your faith is. I wouldn't want anyone to change what made me fall in love with them in the first place. If I can't win someones heart for being me, then I guess it's not love in the first place.

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Another decade

I just recently had a Birthday. I'm not usually bothered by getting older because it seems like the older I get the more content I seem to be. This year though ends a decade of being in my forties. Yes, I turned 50 this year, but my forties seem to have flown by quicker than any other decade. It also marks a decade of big changes in my life, changes I wish I would have made in my thirties. You know the old saying, "Youth is wasted on the young"? I'm starting to believe that now.

Although I feel good, and think I look good for my age, I still think about the stuff I haven't done in my lifetime that I may be too old to do now. And then there are those things I used to do that I physically can't do anymore. Age is just a number, right? Well, it may only be a number, but we all have our limitations. I can't spend my Birthdays staying up to the wee hours of the night partying anymore. I really have no desire to anyway.

 I would like to find a travel companion to see the places I haven't seen outside of the U.S. before I get too old to do so. I often think about if I really want to get married again or not. At this point in my life I would probably like to settle down with someone like myself who has already raised a family, and just wants to focus on enjoying each others company. Making plans for when you get older has never really panned out for me. An unexpected thing called life has always gotten in the way of things.

  So, this next decade I have decided to live each day unplanned. I'm not so sure how my OCD is gonna take it, but flying by the seat of my pants will be my new motto. I can't wait to see where I've been, or what I've done by the time I'm 60. Maybe, just maybe, you and I can grow a decade older together when you are reading my blog in the year 2025.

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