I love music

Listening to our favorite music can trigger all kinds of memories and emotions. It can remind us of a certain someone or a time and place. Most of us grew up listening to our favorite music for hours at a time. In our cars, at home, or just hanging out with friends. Music was playing in our house much more than we watched TV. Of course this was before there was cable television. We may have had video games, but never really played them as much as today's kids do. As a young girl growing up in the 70s I remember my Dad playing his music from the 50s that he grew up listening to like Dean Martin, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis, and Johnny Cash to name a few. Motown was also played in our house hold, along with the rock music of that era. As we get older we start to grow into our own style of music, mostly to what our generation has evolved to.

When MTV came along it changed everything. Not only did we get to listen to our favorite music, but we got to see what our favorite bands looked like. I remember going to friends houses and sitting for hours watching MTV. We would actually have MTV parties. My taste in music was all over the place. I listened to everything from Black Sabbath to Prince. Motor Head to INXS. The 80s was a really fun time in music, and I still love to listen to it. When my son was in High School he used to tell me how lucky I was to have been his age in the 80s. He really liked 80s music at the time, and when others were wearing those sagging jeans he was wearing tight fitted jeans, and grew his hair long. Yes, I have the pictures to prove it.

By the time the 90s arrived I was married, and had two kids. I knew the songs to every Disney, Nickelodeon, and Muppet show. Of course I did make my kids listen to what I wanted to hear in the car. Pearl Jam, Sound Garden, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Off Spring were a few favorites. They started to like it, but of course grew into their own taste of music with up and coming bands of their generation. I remember my son listening to death metal at one point in his teen years, and that music literally scared the bejesus out of me. Now that he's grown we sometimes go to concerts together, and he will recommend bands that he thinks I would like to add to my stations on Pandora. No death metal though, I prefer a more upbeat type of music.


Music is expression. It can motivate us. It can tell a story. It can tell people who we are...

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I want to ride my bicycle

I decided I wanted to start riding my bike again after a 10 year hiatus, of course after being influenced by a couple of male friends of mine who always post their biking adventures online. I used to ride the beautiful nature trails in and around the area I lived in with my ex husband and children many moons ago, and wondered recently why I gave it up? As I pulled out all the essentials I had packed away, I started to look up trails that were in my area online. I found a trail very close to my condo, one I could just ride to, and that would be the first trail I tried. So I dusted the old schwinn off, oiled the chain, added air to the tires, and off I went.

As I began my journey, I had to to ride a 1/2 mile to get to the entrance of the trail which was mostly up hill. As I struggled to reach the top of the hill I started to lose my breath. My lungs started to tighten, then I started to breathe heavy, and I still hadn't reached the trail yet. Once I got to the entrance of the trial I stopped to let a group of male bicyclists pass and go ahead of me. You didn't think I would take the chance of being mowed down on my first day out, did you? It wasn't too long before they were out of my view. I started at a steady pace until the paved path turned into a gravel path which of course wasn't the same smooth ride, so I picked up the pace a little.

It was a beautiful spring day, but I knew once the leaves had grown in it would be even more of a beautiful ride, not to mention the rushing sound of the Clinton River that lined the edges of the trail.
I passed a few other bicyclists that nodded their heads at me as they passed by in the opposite direction. I was starting to feel like I could definitely get used to this type of workout, and would never get bored with it. It was a 60 degree day with a gentle breeze, and the sun was out in full force. Being in nature is calming, relaxing, and can change your mood in an instant. Unlike my stationary bike I've been using all winter. I think I'm hooked once again, and will be making bicycling one of my outdoor workouts, at least until it gets cold again.

Happy trails to you, until we meet again...

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Unsolicited advice

When I was a kid I could eat anything I wanted without gaining weight. I was a tall skinny girl who loved her junk food. I even spent my entire allowance on candy each week. I could eat a whole chocolate cream pie to myself, which didn't make my siblings very happy with me. Sugar played a huge roll in my everyday diet, and I burned most of those calories off by spending my time outdoors doing any activity that involved running, climbing, and jumping like most kids my age did. Whenever I went to a friends house to play their parents were always trying to feed me. Maybe they thought I was starving because of my petite size. As I reached my teens my metabolism stayed the same even though I wasn't as active, and still had very bad eating habits, like going to Burger King or Wendy's for a late night snack.

As an adult I could probably out eat any grown man. Seconds, Debbie? Why yes, don't mind if I do. After I was married, and became pregnant with my first child I put on 40 pounds, which came right back off within a few weeks after giving birth. My body wasn't as firm post baby so I decided I would join a gym 3 days a week, and with baby in stroller I walked every evening to get back into shape. I did change to a healthier diet, but could never really give up my sweet tooth. I did however give up fast food, and soft drinks except for an occasional vernors, and I did start to notice a big difference in how I felt. So I spent the last 20 years eating anything I liked in moderation, working out with free weights and doing cardio exercise's. I just don't feel the need to deprive myself of the things I love. This seems to work for me in keeping my healthy small physique.

I get criticized all the time for the way I eat. I've been told I eat too many bad carbs and sweets. I also get criticized for my love of beer. I guess only wine drinking is acceptable for a lady. Whatever! People are always trying to give me advice. What do I say to that? I don't have high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, allergies, I'm not lactose intolerant, nor do I have any other health issues of any kind. I'm definitely not over weight. I have a physical every two years and I receive a clean bill of health. Would my life style work for everyone? No, of course not. What works for you, may not work for me, either. That's why I don't really discuss, give advice, or post on social network sites my eating, or workout habits because chances are you need to figure out what works for your body type to keep your health in check. So before you criticize me for eating meat, cake, ice cream, and drinking my favorite beer. Just stop yourself because this chickadee is sticking with what works for her.

        
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Do opposites attract?

Do opposites attract? Relationships are about getting our own needs met, often on an unconscious basis. In other words, we try to find someone who is complementary to us and can help us learn, heal, and grow. People tend to look for almost a clone of themselves. They are very specific, too specific, I think. In the real world you may find more appeal in someone who is different in some ways. The key is, which ways? If the persons values and ways they want to spend time are different, this could lead to big trouble. Once people do notice the differences, that's where the changing comes in. One tries to change the other. This can eliminate the opposite traits that were tantalizing in the first place. So much depends on the willingness to be tolerant of the differences. It helps if one person in the couple is more easy going than the other.

 As my friend, John, said about his relationship; "She is my yang for my ying." He also said; "I believe that opposites attract for a reason, but many spend too much time looking at the partner or themselves instead of us or we. Your opposites traits could be very complementary. You could definitely balance each other. Loving your partner means accepting their flaws as your own and boosting their negatives with your positives (and visa-versa)". I believe this to be true, and though I do find myself to be attracted to men who have similar interests, my heart tends to beat faster for the guy that can give me new experiences. 

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Panic Attack

Growing up I often suffered from panic attacks, you know, when your heart starts beating fast and you start to hyperventilate?  I would have panic attacks whenever I felt under pressure, like during a test or meeting new people. I would first start to sweat, then the anxiety would set in which would cause me to shake uncontrollably. This would happen to me in any situation that I felt very uncomfortable in. This could be debilitating at times which made it hard for me to live a normal life. Of course at the time we didn't have names for these disorders like they do today. We weren't taken to the doctor for them, or treated with medication. I basically had to learn to cope on my own, which meant I just avoided doing things that caused me to have them.The older I got the more I realized that I couldn't go through life avoiding uncomfortable situations, but I wanted to come up with a drug free solution to my problem.

 Most would say you have to conquer your fears head on, but making yourself do stuff the way other people do without these disorders isn't always the best solution. So I started with building my self confidence. Doing things that would make me feel good about myself. I figured I would start with my physical appearance by exercising and eating healthy. I just had my first child, and wasn't really ever a health conscious person before getting pregnant. Then I took a few enrichment classes that would help me to interact with other people and learn some new skills. I am not a expert on anxiety disorders, but I knew a lot of what I was feeling had to be caused by low self esteem. Once I started feeling good about myself the panic attacks gradually went away and I was able to socialize, and do things under pressure without that debilitating anxiety. Do you get anxiety or panic attacks, and if so, what works to help keep them under control?

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The end of a friendship.

I have had two really close friendships that came to an end for reasons that never really became clear to me. Both were friendships with females that started back in middle school, and had ended after two significant events that had occurred in my life. One being getting married, and the other when I divorced. The first assumption I came to was my life had changed drastically in both events, and maybe it could have changed me to where these two woman thought they had nothing or little in common with me anymore. The second assumption would be these woman weren't really as close of friends as I had thought. Why should either of those events effect a friendship?

I tried several times to reach out to these woman to talk through any differences or conflicts they may have had with me, with no prevail. Which made me come to the realization that if someone wants to be in your life, they will. You shouldn't have to do anything to try and keep them in your life unless you have wronged them some how, and then you need to make it right. Neither one of them accused me of that. As painful as it was to me I had to just let it go. These two woman had issues that made them decide they no longer wanted to be part of my life, and I just needed to accept that.

Since then I have met a wonderful group of woman who have help me, and supported me through the roughest time of my life. A group of woman I look up to, and have taught me to be strong and grow into the woman I never thought I could be. Woman who have treated me as if they have known me for a life time. Woman with their own special uniqueness. Woman I am proud to call my friends. Friendships come and go, that is just part of life. I often think of these two woman, and wonder what they are doing. I believe every friendship, good or bad, can contribute valuable lessons. I hope they are thinking of me too.

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Love the One You're With

Well there's a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be with the one you love honey
Love the one you're with ~ Stephen Stills


There was something about the lyrics of this song that never really sat right with me until now. I used to think the song lyrics meant that it was okay to settle. Wasting your time loving someone that doesn't feel the same way in return can surely be torture. We all have been there at some point in our lives. Some would say to love the one you're with could help you to over come the heartache, but I'm not so sure I would want to be with someone who is longing for someone other than me. Should we move on before loving the one we are with or would that qualify as moving on? Is it fair to your new love interest to start something before your heart is ready to be given to them?

 I often think about how we get over heartache, and in some cases I'm sure we never do. Can we learn to love another as much as we did the last? I think we can. When I first found out I was pregnant with my second baby my first thought was how will I ever feel the same deep love for my second child as I did for my first? Well, of course when she was born it was instant. It was a different kind of love, but just as significant as the love I had for my son. In relationships its the same way we can love another for who they are as individuals, and just as much as we loved the last. Just like we do with our parents, friends and siblings. Life is too short to spend our time thinking of someone we will never be with. To never love another is where you would be settling.  


Don't be angry - don't be sad
Don't sit crying over good times you've had
There's a girl right next to you
And she's just waiting for something to do

Turn your heartache right into joy
'Cause she's a girl and you're a boy
Get it together come on make it nice
You ain't gonna need anymore advice

Well there's a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be with the one you love honey
Love the one you're with
 
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