Non-believers

I have a lot of religious people on my facebook friend list, which really isn't a problem for me even though I'm a nonbeliever. Once in a while I will see a post about morality and people questioning if you can have morals without believing in a higher power. Every time this subject is brought up it's usually by a group of believers who know nothing about atheism. They are having these discussions without actually having any nonbelievers chime in as though they know what we think and feel. They talk about them as if they need to be educated on how to be a moral person and there is only one way to do that, of course, that's their way. We couldn't possibly be loving, giving, and empathetic human beings without believing in a God.

Well, let me start by saying nonbelievers are very loving, giving, empathetic human beings without the promise of an after life. We are good people because we want to be, and it's the right thing to do. We believe we are given one chance at life, and have to make it as good and fulfilling for ourselves, and the people we love around us, period. I really dislike when someone else speaks for me, especially if you don't know me, and to portray all nonbelievers as lost people is just ignorant. Atheism is a choice. They are not lost souls. They are people who disbelieve, or have a lack of belief in the existence of a God or gods. What you feel about their lack of belief is how they feel about you believing in a higher power. We are positive, thought provoking people who want to make a difference in the world we live in.

I don't like to blog about religion or politics, but when my morals are questioned, and then explained by a person who doesn't share my non-belief system as if I'm diseased, not in the right mind, or even dead inside as one person put it, it makes me question your morality. I don't worry about your path in life. I may not agree with it, but I don't question your morality to make myself feel better about mine. If we don't end up in the same place after we die, that's on me, not you. My goal in life is to be a loving, giving person, and make a positive impact in other peoples lives with no expectations. That's my reward. I really find it kind of funny that some people think that you only have two choices in life, either you're godly or evil. Well, I'm not neither, and I'm okay with that. 

Chronic Complainers

We all complain about the things around us that we think are not right or are unfair, but can this negative thinking affect our relationships with co-workers, friends and family? Yes, it most definitely can, and if all you do is complain and not take action to fix the problem then you are part of the problem. You are what we call a chronic complainer. You are inviting negative energy into your life which will only cause more problems than solutions. It's hard to be positive and productive when you have someone complaining in your ear all day. Chronic complainers believe the world is out to get them, but the truth is that they may not even know that they complain so much.

We all have chronic complainers in our lives. They're that friend who always complains about the food, the service, or anything else when you meet them for dinner. Their expectations of how things should be are way too high. Despite how difficult their complaints are for those around them, chronic complainers do not usually see themselves as negative people. Rather they perceive themselves as forever being on the losing end of things. Even those chronic complainers who do recognize their immense complaining truly believe their unlucky lot in life more than justifies expressing their dissatisfaction to those around them. After all, it is they who have been saddled with more problems and misfortune than most.

 Sadly it has ruined some of my friendships. Co-workers are even harder to deal with because you can't end a working relationship unless you spend your day avoiding them which isn't always possible. I realize they just want validation, and they will repeat their dissatisfaction over and over until they get it. When it comes to a work I try to show positive behavior around that chronic complainer by showing them only they can change what they don't like about their job situation if the boss keeps brushing them off. Most of these chronic complainers don't see that if they are not willing to help themselves no one else will. I see a lot of chronic complainers in my facebook news feed. Ask yourself, are you one of them?

Easily Distracted

As some of you may know I deactivated my Facebook account for a few months because it was becoming too distracting. I would try to convince myself that I would only go online for a few minutes just to see what everyone was up to, and lo and behold an hour had past and what I had planned for that moment never got done. I was never this easily distracted pre-social media. I used to read 2 books a month, but now I'm lucky to read 2 every six months. I would start to read and my mind would wonder elsewhere. I would find myself having to re-read each chapter because I was constantly being distracted or just couldn't focus. Watching a long movie has been a struggle as well. I just can't stay focused long enough to watch the whole movie in one sitting. I either get up from the couch to start a task I had forgotten to do earlier, or I'm looking at my notifications from Facebook.

Deactivating my facebook account was very hard for the first week, and I started to spend more time on Pinterest and Instagram. After that week went by I found that I was able to focus more on myself which I've needed to do for sometime. Not in a narcissistic way, but sometimes we get so caught up in what everyone else is doing we tend to neglect ourselves. Taking the time to just sit and read a good book is not only relaxing, but stimulates the mind so you can focus. Hobbies. Remember those? I used to have so many of them. Making door wreathes, floral arraignments, jewelry, gardening, photography, and even sewed a little. I was a very crafty person before living the social media obsession. I even dusted off some old paint brushes and painted a picture of a tree while I was offline. Of course after watching a Bob Ross marathon.Time seemed to slow down when I didn't spend all my spare time on Facebook. I didn't feel the need to check in when I went out to eat, or even let facebook know what I was doing over the weekend. I felt like my old self again.

Until...I just had to take a peek. Just for a few minutes. I knew no one would notice. I didn't even look at my news feed for the first hour. I looked through my photo's and felt a little narcissistic when I saw how many profile pics I had posted, so I deleted all but two. I went through my albums and personal photos of family and deleted most of them as well, and wondered why I was so public with my private life. I removed my last name and typed in my blogger name. I decided I would use my account mostly for blogging. Then I went to my families pages one by one to see if I missed anything, and I didn't really miss much, which made me happy that they still kept in touch even though I was off facebook for a while. Then I went to my news feed, and guess what? It was like I never left. Same stuff, different day. Did I really expect facebook to stop because I left? No, of course not, and that few minute peek turned into all day. I even got several "welcome back" comments when I posted my first profile pic in 3 months. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Will I ever leave facebook for good? Probably not, but I've learned that taking a break every once in awhile will do me good.